I'm so hungry I could eat my paystubs

So I'm unemployed, and hungry. I applied for food stamps, or as it is called now, the nauseatingly SNAP, ---supplimental nutrional blah blah blah, what was wrong with food stamps?  Why not just call the program, "I am not on the dole."  Free food is free food, no matter how you parse it, but someone somewhere probably felt that good enough must be bothered with and that corner office doesn't reward itself, so in what I can only believe was a spark of sheer mediocrity, although I'm sure genius was thrown around in the person's head, SNAP saw the light.  "To better reflect what is actually going on," I'm sure they said.  ----Whatever.

The process was surprisingly pain free until I had to get my pay stubs.  ---The office here in Fargo is in the juvinile detention center, nice clean waiting room, and I was helped in less than an hour.  That seems long but I was ready to wait hours.  In order to get my foodstamps, I had to show proof of rent (my lease---easy), a phone bill (go online to my phone's website, easy) and show a pay stub for all the days I worked in October---should have been easy.  I worked for ___  ___ ___.  Last year they stopped giving paychecks and paystubs, direct deposit was mandatory and paystubs were available online, I left my job and my access to the site was disabled.  Fine, the stubs are electonic, they can email them to me or fax them or email them to the regional office where I worked and HR can give them to me.  HELL FUCKING NO!  I have to wait over a week to get my paystubs and thus to eat.  (I have food but I'm out of fresh fruit and a few other items so I'm not going to starve).  Why they didn't just block me from doing anything else on the website except for accessing my paystubs is beyond me.  Those are obviously a necessity when one is employed but they are when they are UNEMPLOYED.  Why they can't verify my information and email me my paystubs is beyond me.  Why they were so fucking cheap that they couldn't issue paper paystubs blows my mind.  I'm sorry but if you run a business, that's an expense you should have to eat, like taking shit from your customers and paying for all the governemtn regulations, paystubs is not an option, especially now since I'm hungry.