Whiteout (2009) Starring the babe Kate Beckinsale and some other people. It doesn't matter who else is in this movie because from the opening shower scene with Kate, this is clearly her vehicle. It's to bad the vehicle is a rusted pile of shit that she drives it right into the ground.
A murder has ocurred in Antartica and Kate is a sheriff in self imposed exile. Why she's there is told through flashbacks. Why the audience is supposed to care is never made clear. This movie was so bad it's like trying to define the infinite. There are so many different ways.
First, ANY movie that starts with a pretty woman stripping down to whitey-tighties and then taking a heavily steamed shower is going to suck. I knew I was fucked from that moment forward and I was correct. Second, Kate can't act. She was fine in those werewolf movies but plenty of people "act" in cg movies. We don't see them for the actors, we see them for the action/cg/cool factor. Like most jobs, those acting jobs could be handled by a trained monkey. Third, for a trained sheriff, Kate was ineffective. Her skills should have been way more advanced then screaming and running which she somehow did poorly (it added to the dramatic tension). Fourth, the killer (SPOILER ALERT) was a guy clad from head to toe in winter gear, thus remained a mystery yet not scary at all. Why Kate didn't shoot him when she had the chance is beyond me. Five, where was the killers plane? They both fly out to a remote camp and Kate happens upon him while killing a person. Where was his plane? And in a whiteout, how did he get back to the homebase while she and her pilot were snowed in? Sixth, when outside fighting, how is it that one guy was blown away to his death across a flat stretch of land in a whiteout while Kate could still stand? Mind you this guy was clad in survival gear and likely had training to live in a whiteout, and even in a hurricane people aren't tossed around like rag dolls.
The only exciting part of this movie, besides the credits, was when I momentarily confused Tom Skarrit with Kris Kristofferson. Avoid this movie at all costs.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
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